Hello, I am Suparna (name changed). Age 29. Working in a private bank. Home is in Kolkata. Now come to the reason for this letter. I had a conversation with someone from a matrimonial site. We formed a very good friendship in a short time. In fact, the ideologies, likes and dislikes of the two were quite similar. Maybe that’s why they like each other quickly. At least it felt good on my part. We talk for about three months. I see two or three times. A different kind of favor worked. I felt like I had my own person. With whom everything can be said and shared. But the disillusionment broke in a few days. He told me that he can’t marry me. Her ex came back to her. Since I liked it in my heart, I never said it or there was no place for that force, so I didn’t say anything. Just stop talking. I would have missed it though.
After that, about a year passed. A friend of mine got married. I came and gave the status on WhatsApp. Suddenly a message comes from him. Even if I don’t answer at first, I lose my mind and answer later. Talk started again. He said he lied to me last time but now he is not ready to get married. Opened account on matrimonial site only on mother’s word. Anyway, we started talking again. No, I haven’t met. But talk.
Today marks two and a half years of our friendship, relationship, or whatever you call it. The house wants me to get married now (no one in the house knows that she still talks to him). But neither I nor the other can focus. I also know that I have no future with that boy. He has already told me that he does not believe in the institution of marriage. He is willing to live in if I want. I think he is weak towards me but doesn’t say anything like that. What should I do now? Will I get married at home? Or live in with him?
What do the experts think about this?
Relationship expert, Purvasha Mukherjee answers this question. In his words:
Look, don’t assume what someone thinks of you first. Know first that he is not weak on you at all but just out to get you. Talk to him openly. Want a clear answer to what he thinks of you, or how important you are to him? If you answer it is good. And if you don’t give a proper answer, or if you stop talking, then you will understand that this is a red flag. be careful
Second, did you find out why he moved? Did you try to find out whether the first reason you said is true or not? If you haven’t done it, do it. Remember that there are many types of people around us and we should not blindly trust all of them. Especially the person you chat with online.
Third, and finally to the most important question of all, what do you do? Before you ask yourself are you ready to live in? Many people are in this relationship these days, it is not wrong or bad at all. But being with the right people is important. And it is important to know and understand what you want. If you are not willing to stay in the live-in, do not go according to his wishes. If second is agree then try to get above answers first then decide.
Now the rest of the marriage is left. If you don’t get the above answers right, then decide for yourself what to do, which is right for you. If you think your parents will marry someone else. But in that case give yourself some time first. Don’t jump out of one relationship and into another. Give yourself at least a few months. Then start a new conversation, get to know him and move on.